How to sit still when everything hurts

Some of the most powerful people I know don’t move fast. They pause. They notice. They sit with their feelings. Especially the uncomfortable ones.

It’s not flashy. It’s not easy. And it sure as hell doesn’t “optimize” your day.

But it changes how you move through the world. And it’s something we can all learn to do. Two minutes at a time.

We've been sold this idea that discomfort is the enemy. That if you're feeling anxious, sad, or uncertain, something's gone wrong and you need to fix it immediately.

So we do what any reasonable person would do. We run.

Glass of wine to take the edge off. Scroll through Instagram until our brains go numb. Pack the calendar so full there's no room to think, or God forbid, feel anything.

Or we get fancy with it. We meditate the feelings away. Exercise until we drop. Book another therapy session, hoping this one will finally make the discomfort disappear.

But discomfort isn't a bug in the system. It's a feature.

The people who actually thrive? They've learned something most of us haven't.

They can sit with a crying friend without rushing to fix it.
They can hold space for their own anxiety without immediately reaching for a distraction.
They can feel angry without turning it into shame.
They can be uncertain without panicking.

They've figured out that life includes ALL the feelings. Not just the Instagram-worthy ones.

If you only feel safe when everything feels good, you'll spend your whole damn life running. And that's exhausting.

The magic happens when you stop treating discomfort like a fire to put out and start treating it like a guest at your table. An awkward guest, sure. Definitely not as fun as joy. Or laughter. But still. A guest.

Want to build this muscle? Try the "Two-Minute Sit":

Next time you feel that familiar discomfort rising – anxiety, sadness, frustration, whatever – set a timer for two minutes. Just two.

Then sit. Don't fix. Don't distract. Don't even meditate it away.

Just notice: Where do you feel it in your body? What does it actually feel like? Is it heavy? Tight? Moving?

Talk to it like you would a scared kid: "Hey anxiety, I see you. You can hang out here for two minutes. I’m not going anywhere."

When the timer goes off, you're free to do whatever you want. Scroll away. Pour the wine. Whatever.

After a few times, you might find you don't need to run anymore. The discomfort becomes just another sensation, not an emergency.

Start with two minutes. That's it. Because when you can finally sit with the hard stuff, you stop being afraid of your own life.