Your Child Isn’t the Problem, Your Childhood Is

Your children, with their tiny hands, somehow manage to dig up every buried artifact of your childhood - every unresolved hurt, every abandoned fear, every pattern you thought you'd outgrown.

That moment when you hear your parent's words coming out of your mouth? That's not coincidence. That's an invitation from your own childhood.

The four-year-old throwing a tantrum isn't just having his own meltdown. He's surfacing your tantrum - the one you never got to have, the feelings you were told to suppress, the emotions you learned were unacceptable to have, and definitely unacceptable to show.

Your daughter's constant need for reassurance about her appearance isn't just her insecurity. It’s awakening your buried memories of never feeling good enough, pretty enough, or worthy of attention without being "perfect."

Your son’s academic procrastination isn't just laziness. It’s surfacing your own childhood pressure to achieve, where your worth became dangerously tied to your performance rather than your humanity. 

Your reaction isn't just about their behavior. It's about what happened to you when you were small.

We weren’t built to examine these moments. We were built to run it back. To parent the way we know best, the way that comes most naturally, which is exactly the way we ourselves were parented. We are wired to use the blueprint that was handed down to us.

But not everyone abides by the blueprint they were given.

To all those parents who see the patterns, who feel the triggers, who recognize these moments as a crossroads - continue the cycle or break it here and now - I see you. I see you doing the hardest, most hidden work of parenting. Not just teaching them to tie shoes or solve equations, but standing face-to-face with your own unfinished business. Healing yourself so you can be more for your child.

Your children didn't come to perpetuate your past. They came to help you transcend it.