When The Sunday Scaries Aren’t About Work

"Maybe it's the job. It must be the job. I just feel so bored, restless, empty. If I could just find something better, everything would click into place."

More than half my coaching clients come to me with some version of this story. They're convinced that their discontent lives in their circumstances. That happiness is just one job change away.

I get it. I was there.

The restlessness started as a whisper. Then it became dread, creeping in Sunday nights. Eventually it turned into panic attacks that left me on the bathroom floor.

My hypothesis crystallized: This job is killing me. I need to get out.

I was wrong.

My body forced the issue with a mental and physical health crisis that lodged itself in my life like a ship sideways in the Suez Canal. I couldn't push through anymore. I had to stop.

What followed: Months of therapy, both traditional and psychedelic-assisted. Long walks to heal my body. Journaling and meditation to quiet the noise. Slowly, my nervous system downshifted from constant fight-or-flight back to something resembling normal.

And from that place of regulation, I finally saw the truth.

It was never the job.

It was how I related to the job. How I moved through the world. How I'd been programmed to chase everyone else's definition of success while abandoning my own.

I went back to the same job. Same boss. Same team. Same work.

But everything was different.

The restlessness? Gone. The Sunday dread? Vanished. The panic? Just a memory.

What changed? Two things.

First, I got crystal clear on what actually mattered to me. Not what I'd been told should matter. What actually mattered.

Time with my daughter. Agency over my schedule. Deep rest. Creative pursuits. Enough money for security, not excess.

Second, I started dismantling every belief that kept me trapped in other people's games.

Every time my brain whispered "you should," I asked: Says who?

Do I really need to join that 9pm call? Or can it wait until morning? Do I need to fix every problem? Or can I let some things be imperfect? Do I need my their validation? Or is my own enough?

When you're clear on what matters to you – really, truly matters – the job fades into its proper place. Just one part of a rich, expansive life. Not the whole thing.

Most of my clients discover the same thing. They thought they needed a new job. What they needed was a new relationship with work itself.

Your restlessness might not be telling you to leave.

It might be telling you to finally arrive.

To your own life. On your own terms. To finally honor what you actually value over what you've been told to want.

That choice is available right now. No resignation letter required.