You’re Wired for Survival (But You Can Rewire for Hope)

Ever felt stuck in a job, a relationship, or a cycle you can’t escape? You’re not broken. Your nervous system is doing exactly what it was wired to do under threat. 

But breaking news: it can be retrained.

In the 1960s, researchers gave dogs electric shocks that they were unable to escape from (I know, I know… my heart hurts for the dogs too, but boomers weren’t really known for their animal rights advocacy back in the day). 

Later, when these poor dogs were placed in a new environment where they could escape the shocks by simply jumping over a low wall, most dogs didn't even try. They just... accepted the pain.

For decades, scientists called this "learned helplessness." The idea that trauma teaches us we're powerless.

But recent research flipped the script entirely.

Helplessness isn't learned. It's the default biological response to trauma.

It’s agency must be learned.

Here's what changed the research: Dogs who experienced controllable shocks *before* the inescapable ones retained their ability to escape later. Even after trauma, they kept trying. They maintained hope.

And the dogs who had given up? They could be re-trained to have hope.

Researchers literally had to drag them away from the shock source at first. But over time, the more the researchers dragged them away from the shocks (exposing them to the idea that they were, in fact, in control) these dogs learned to escape on their own. No leash.

They learned agency. They learned hope.

Your nervous system works the same way.

That job where you feel trapped? That relationship where your voice doesn't matter? That cycle of overwhelm where nothing you do seems to make a difference?

Your body might be responding the way those dogs did. Not because you're weak, but because feeling helpless is your nervous system's attempt to protect you when control feels impossible.

But here's what the research teaches us: You can retrain your system.

Start small. Find one area where you can exert control today.

Set a low-stakes boundary with one person. Say no to one small request. Take one tiny action toward what you actually want.

At first, it might feel forced. Unnatural. Like someone has a leash around you and is dragging you away from familiar pain.

But each time you choose agency over acceptance, you're teaching your nervous system something new: You have power. You can influence your environment. Change is possible.

Over time, your brain will start to believe what your body experiences.

That you're not as trapped as you feel. That your voice does matter. That small actions can create big shifts.

The dogs learned to escape.

So can you.

What's one small way you could practice agency today?